Subject: TROMBONE-L Digest - 26 Feb 2003 to 27 Feb 2003 (#2003-58) Date: Friday, February 28, 2003 12:00 AM From: Automatic digest processor Reply-To: "Trombones and related issues forum." To: Recipients of TROMBONE-L digests There are 12 messages totalling 564 lines in this issue. Topics of the day: 1. New Trombone 2. Jazz Ambassadors touring schedule mid and south atlantic states 3. Musician Jokes 4. Broadway Shows 5. Choices (3) 6. dialing in lead horns//small bell news//joe jackson shops for lead horn] 7. dialing in lead horns//small bell news//joe jackson shops for lead horn] 8. facial hair 9. Changes at yeodoug.com 10. Keefer Trombone ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 27 Aug 1956 09:52:47 -0500 From: Mike Mathews Subject: New Trombone Anybody out there who neede a new horn, cheap, should check out this web site. http://www.balloonhq.com/column/dewey/aug02/ Mike Mathews Director of Instrumental Studies Missouri Western State College mathews@mwsc.edu ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 10:20:10 EST From: Neobopr@AOL.COM Subject: Jazz Ambassadors touring schedule mid and south atlantic states If you are interested in hearing some live big band jazz for free please follow the link below to my site and click on "touring schedule." I love meeting fellow listers so make sure you come up and say hello. See you there! Jeff Adams-Yamaha Artist/Clinician ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 10:00:38 -0600 From: Erik Berggren Subject: Musician Jokes Listers: =20 I hadn't heard some of these. I hope you can get a chuckle or two out = of them! =20 =20 Erik Berggren - AAA (Always An Amateur) ---------------------------------------- =20 A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a = musician." She replies, "Well, honey, you know you can't do both." =20 Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm? A: A tattoo. =20 Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion? A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo. =20 Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit? A: The defendant. =20 Q: What do clarinetists use for birth control? A: Their personalities. =20 Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ Test? A: Saliva. =20 Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend? A: Homeless. =20 Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept. =20 Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks. =20 Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players? A: It saves time in the long run. =20 Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large = pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four. =20 Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet? A: About three decibels. =20 Q: What's the latest crime wave in New York City? A: Drive-by trombone solos. =20 Q: What's the definition of a minor second interval? A: Two soprano sax players reading off the same part. =20 Q: What is another term for trombone? A: A wind-driven manually operated pitch approximator. =20 Q: How do you get an oboist to play A flat? A: Take the batteries out of his electronic tuner. =20 Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone? A: On or off. =20 Q: What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist? A: A bad oboist can kill you. =20 Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they can park in the handicapped zones. =20 Q: What's the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick. =20 Q: Why do people play trombone? A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same = time. =20 Q: How does a violist's brain cell die? A: Alone. =20 Q: What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords? A: A music critic. =20 Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen? A: Put it in a viola case. =20 Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a chain saw? A: You can tune a chain saw. =20 Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: "That's the banjo player's Porsche." =20 Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed. =20 Q: Why are harps like elderly parents? A: Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars. =20 Q: How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway? A: Seven, if you lay them out correctly. =20 Q: What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon? A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon. =20 Q: How are a banjo player and a blind javelin thrower alike? A: Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to = move out of range. =20 Q: What's the best recording of the Walton Violin Concerto? A: "Music Minus One" =20 Q: What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a baby = elephant? A: Eleven pounds. =20 Q: Why are violist's fingers like lightning? A: They rarely strike the same spot twice. =20 Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 13 - one to do it, and twelve to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I = can do that!" =20 Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?" Friend: "I hope so." =20 Q: What's the difference between alto clef and Greek? A: Some conductors actually read Greek. =20 Glissando: A technique adopted by string players for difficult runs. =20 Relative minor: A guitarist's girlfriend. =20 Q: How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus? A: On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom. =20 Subito piano: Indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra = player to become a soloist. =20 Musica ficta: When you lose your place and have to bluff until you find = it again. =20 Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong = pitch. =20 Did you hear about the tenor who was so arrogant the other tenors = noticed? =20 Q: What do you call a hundred conductors at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start. =20 Q: Barenboim, Levine and Mehta all went down in a plane crash. Who = survived? A: Mozart. =20 Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a viola? A: Vibrato =20 Q: How can you tell when a singer is at your door? A: They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in. =20 Q: How do you get two bass players to play in unison? A: Hand them charts a half-step apart. =20 Q: What's the difference between a dead chicken in the road, and a dead = trombonist in the road? A: There's a remote chance the chicken was on its way to a gig. =20 Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A: A vocalist. =20 Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer? A: Place a sheet of music in front of him. =20 Q: Why can't voice majors have colostomies? A: Because they can't find shoes to match the bag. =20 Q: What do you do if you see a bleeding drummer running around in your = back yard? A: Stop laughing and shoot again. =20 Q: How many 2nd violinists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, they can't get up that high !!!!!! =20 Soprano Sofege: do, re, mi, me, Me, Not You, ME!! =20 Q: What's the perfect weight of a conductor? A: Three and one-half pounds, including the urn. =20 Q: What do all great conductors have in common? A: They're all dead. =20 Q: What's the definition of optimism? A: A bass trombonist with a beeper. =20 Q: What do you do if you run over a bass player? A: Back up. =20 Q: How do you reduce wind-drag on a trombonist's car? A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof =20 Q: How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree? A: Cut the noose =20 Q: What do you throw a drowning bass player? A: His amp. =20 Q: How do you get a three-piece horn section to play in tune? A: Shoot two of them. =20 Q: What's the difference between a bull and a band? A: The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back. =20 Q: How many vocalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves = around them. =20 Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a bulb? A: None, they have machines for that now. =20 Q: How can you tell if the stage is level? A: The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth. =20 Q: How do you get a trombonist off of your porch? A: Pay him for the pizza. =20 Q: What's the last thing a drummer says before he gets kicked out of a = band? A: "When do we get to play MY songs?" =20 Q: What's the difference between a tuba and a vacuum cleaner? A: You have to turn one of them on before it sucks. =20 Q: How do you define a perfect pitch? A: When the saxophone lands in the MIDDLE of the dumpster. =20 Q: What do you call a musician with a college degree? A: Night manager at McDonalds. =20 Q: Why are violas larger than violins? A: They aren't. Violists' heads are smaller. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 16:31:01 +0000 From: Daniel Pliskin Subject: Re: Broadway Shows >I really think this is all COMPLETE BULL S&*T. >Music is ever changing. Yes, history has its value, but it is US, the >musicians, that can change as well. Music is not dead, it just reaches > >people in a different way now. People are really funny when it comes to music. Most people wouldnÕt dream of listening to Stravinsky, but theyÕd have no problem with a movie that had a polytonal/polyrhythmic soundtrack. And donÕt worry, well after weÕve all starved to death, from lack of work, thereÕll be a resurgence, just as people have gone from listing to 60 Hz hum to listening to didgeridoos. OK, OK, IÕll use a smiley face. 8?) I happen to love good electronic music. Synthesizing an existing musical instrument has always sounded like (&^9, to my ear, though, and using an unyielding recorded soundtrack is always problematic. So let them find out what theyÕre getting into, first hand. I imagine that IÕd be pretty pissed if I paid lots of money for tickets to the Broadway show, only to find out that I was listening to a MIDI soundtrack. Seeing all those live musicians just makes me believe that I paid for something. DanP _________________________________________________________________ Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 16:40:45 +0000 From: Daniel Pliskin Subject: Re: Choices >If I were forced to play on, say, a symphonic tenor trombone with "F" >attachment and a generic 12C mouthpiece, in time I would sound just as >I >do today on my double rotor in-line bass trombone and my PrimeSlide >Design >A3 mouthpiece. I hear this all the time. ItÕs true, I can eventually get some of my smaller mouthpieces to sound good. But if I want to pick up the trombone and get on to sounding warm quickly, I go for one of my larger mouthpieces. DanP _________________________________________________________________ STOP MORE SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 12:16:15 -0600 From: "D.J. Kennedy" Subject: dialing in lead horns//small bell news//joe jackson shops for lead horn] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. --------------73DFF96313149BCF70B64756 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit --------------73DFF96313149BCF70B64756 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="------------148CED1E5791AF0089099307" Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit --------------73DFF96313149BCF70B64756-- ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 13:25:43 -0600 From: "D.J. Kennedy" Subject: Re: dialing in lead horns//small bell news//joe jackson shops for lead horn] i apologize to the t listers this was an attempt to forward a discussion about joe jackson and the considerations of horns for lead Price Taylor wrote: > DJ -- I didn't get text with the message...can you re-send? Sounds > interesting. > > Price > > -----Original Message----- > From: Trombones and related issues forum. > [mailto:TROMBONE-L@PO.MISSOURI.EDU]On Behalf Of D.J. Kennedy > Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 10:16 AM > To: TROMBONE-L@PO.MISSOURI.EDU > Subject: [TBN-L] dialing in lead horns//small bell news//joe jackson > shops for lead horn] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 14:00:09 EST From: MikeSuter@AOL.COM Subject: Re: Choices Hi Dan, << I hear this all the time. It‰Ûªs true, I can eventually get some of my smaller mouthpieces to sound good. But if I want to pick up the trombone and get on to sounding warm quickly, I go for one of my larger mouthpieces. >> That wasn't my point. My point was - and is - that equipment is less relevant than perception. I know this sounds strange coming from a guy who designs bass trombones and such for a living, but it's true to a greater extent than any of us would like to think. Over the past few years, because of the financial penalties of my illness, I've done more than a few jobs and even recordings on borrowed equipment - equipment as small as a Bach 36B with a 4G (my regular mouthpiece wouldn't fit the shank). Other than the obvious visual differences, nobody noticed. Is that because I'm some kind of a bass trombone god? I don't think so. It's because I know exactly how I want to sound, and make that sound in spite of whatever stuff I'm using. Other than running out and purchasing a PrimeSlide Design bass trombone mouthpiece right this minute, I truly feel musicians would be better served if they just learned the nuances of the instrument they have, and stopped creating roadblocks to their progress by changing equipment on a whim (I'm guilty too). All The Best, Mike Suter Slidewerke PrimeSlide Design National Slide Quartet ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 14:48:40 EST From: Matmutt@AOL.COM Subject: Re: Choices Hi Folks; What you say here has a lot of truth in it, Mike, but I've had several players including New York pros tell me your mouthpiece clearly enhanced their performance. Personally, a friend gave me a 1 1/4 GM when I purchased my first bassbone and it's the only MP I've ever used. Larry Priori ( the passionate amateur) In a message dated 2/27/2003 2:04:46 PM Eastern Standard Time, MikeSuter@AOL.COM writes: > > Other than running out and purchasing a PrimeSlide Design bass trombone > mouthpiece right this minute, I truly feel musicians would be better served > if they just learned the nuances of the instrument they have, and stopped > creating roadblocks to their progress by changing equipment on a whim (I'm > guilty too). > > All The Best, Mike Suter > Slidewerke > PrimeSlide Design > National Slide Quartet > ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 19:14:46 -0600 From: "D.J. Kennedy" Subject: Re: facial hair its not so much facial hair -i never had a thick beard and always felt sorry for guys who had to whack up their skin ----what really bugs me now is --how to put this nostralles ---the nostrailia ---if you cut them and play oooooooooooooooooo itchty wa wa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Richard Z. Johnson wrote: > I've played with a mustache for 4-5 years now and haven't noticed any > problems. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 19:40:41 -0500 From: Douglas Yeo Subject: Changes at yeodoug.com My website, http://www.yeodoug.com, has moved to a new server, one which will allow me to have more server space and many other benefits. In the process, we have created a new directory structure for my site which will allow me more flexible uploading and changing of files as well as some other enhancements which will come about later. As a result, any internal pages of my site you may have bookmarked before today will not work. A bookmark to the homepage ( http://www.yeodoug.com) will still work, but internal pages now have a new directory. If you have internal pages of my site bookmarked, please delete the bookmarks and replace them with new bookmarks after going to the pages again to bookmark the new URL. I'm sorry for this inconvenience but it's one of those things which causes a short term headache for better health from now on. Thanks for your patience. -Doug Yeo -- Douglas Yeo Bass Trombonist, Boston Symphony Orchestra Music Director, The New England Brass Band dyeo@rcn.com /// yeo@yeodoug.com http://www.yeodoug.com <>< ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 20:42:55 -0500 From: Douglas Yeo Subject: Keefer Trombone I received a query from someone who picked up a used trombone and wanted to know if I knew anything about the manufacturer: "The manufacturer is Keefer Williams Port, Pa. The serial number is 7579." Any light shed on this would be appreciated, please respond privately or to the list if the info is of general interest. Thanks very much, -Doug Yeo -- Douglas Yeo Bass Trombonist, Boston Symphony Orchestra Music Director, The New England Brass Band dyeo@rcn.com /// yeo@yeodoug.com http://www.yeodoug.com <>< ------------------------------ End of TROMBONE-L Digest - 26 Feb 2003 to 27 Feb 2003 (#2003-58) ****************************************************************